Wednesday 24 January 2018

Mister Wilson is, in no particular order; male, caucasian, British by birth, a widower, a performing arts graduate, homosexual, Dutch by naturalisation, HIV+, writer, ageing. And probably other stuff.

In short

Mister Wilson is in no particular order.

Bum on a wall

  • Saturday, 07 January 2017 12:59
So, there I was, writing an email of complaint. (People who start sentences with ‘So’ make me angry.) The email was about a company’s failure to do what they promised. (People who don’t do what they promise make me angry.) Anyway, there I was, trying to concentrate and being stopped by the cat who wanted water or food or attention or something. (The cat makes me really bloody angry. I love him to bits but he gets on my tits.) (And people who start sentences with ‘Anyway,’ are a bit sloppy too.) (And people who use too many brackets are…

Why Scrooge is my hero

  • Saturday, 24 December 2016 13:39
Ebenezer Scrooge (A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens, 1843) has always been something of a hero of mine. Underneath the gruff ‘bah humbug’ exterior is an eminently sensible man. I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of him but Scrooge can be seen as the voice of reason when it comes to all manner of social injustices. Scrooge works hard, plays by the rules and criticises people who behave selfishly. He isn’t the out and out villain that we typically assume.   Scrooge isn’t a very nice person, admittedly. We criticize him for his refusal to give during the…

Me and HIV

  • Friday, 18 November 2016 16:48
This is the text to the video below:   Hello. My name is Guy Wilson. I am 62 years old and I have been HIV+ for a long time. I became positive after having unprotected casual sex under the influence of recreational drugs. I take complete responsibility for all of that. I knew the risks I was taking. I didn’t have the courage to admit it back then because my self-respect was low but I did know the risks.   However, I am now at a different stage in my life. I am ‘Aging With HIV’. And if that sounds…

Death on a hot day

  • Friday, 26 August 2016 15:36
26 June 2014 It is hot outside but in here it is cooler. The curtains have been closed all day as a guard against the sun. It is cool and dark and the only sound is the buzzing of a fly.   The room is simple. A side table has on it a coffee machine, an electric toothbrush, a face shaver, face cloths, moisturising cream and home-made spray cologne. A glass display cabinet contains half a dozen books with titles including ‘The Ugly Duckling’ and ‘Spiritual Wisdom from the Celtic World.’ Gift ornaments and personal gewgaws are arranged on the…

The Wedding: can we leave yet?

  • Tuesday, 21 June 2016 17:08
21 June 2016: My fifth wedding anniversary One of my favourite photographs of our wedding day shows Nic and I sitting at a bar, our backs to the window on to the street. It is about 8:00pm, a sunny evening after a cloudy day. Most of our guests are drinking out on the street. They’re having a great time. Nic and I are the only sober ones there. He’s drinking bitter lemon and I’m on apple juice. We’ve had enough of the day. We had had lunch, a boat trip, our wedding ceremony at City Hall, a High Tea in…

Are you suffering enough?

  • Sunday, 01 May 2016 12:09
When did we start measuring our self-worth by the degree to which we suffer? And it seems to be less about WHY we suffer and more to do with HOW we suffer. There’s competitive suffering going on out there; “I suffer more than you do. Therefore . . . . . (one moment, while I take a selfie of my suffering) . . .  I am a better person.   It’s often your choice to suffer. I mean, life can’t be pain free, rose coloured and full of unicorns farting rainbows. And motivational quotes are, I agree, a pain in…

Sneeze fart Belch; Shakespeare and me

  • Thursday, 21 April 2016 16:44
School almost killed Shakespeare for me. Our examination study text was 'Macbeth' and even though I was always being asked to read aloud in class I still left school without the faintest notion of what it was about. The teaching was dull, lifeless and meaningless. We were taken to see the dreadful 1948 Orson Welles film production at a local cinema and all I remember, aside from the gruelling boredom, was the kid in the seat behind me tipping sugar from a bag of pear drops down the inside of my shirt. 'Macbeth' isn't something you want to watch with…

How to be scary

  • Monday, 18 April 2016 14:06
Part-way through her second solo bottle of wine, my visiting friend offered the following observation:   "You’re a middle-aged HIV+ gay man living alone in a one-room apartment opposite a sex club in the middle of Amsterdam. You have to see it from a British perspective. It doesn’t look good."   It hurt for a long time afterwards. I took it personally. I saw it as a criticism and judgement of me and my life. She justified her view by describing her own life in conversely glowing terms. Her sons were “perfect”. Her home was in a “leafy suburb” which…

Friends come to tea

  • Wednesday, 13 April 2016 03:46
His being dead is no reason to stop marking my husband Nic's birthday.   True, we never did much on our birthdays when he was alive. We had a birthday tea in a chintzy cafe once, but another customer took the trouble to lean across to us and point out that we shouldn't be eating scones because '"Scones are women’s cakes." "Thank you, fuck you and safe trip back to Sith Iffrika." We always enjoyed the panicked expression of realisation when the abused became the abuser. Anyway, it was cheaper and cosier to stay home, bake and eat scones and…

While I was gone

  • Thursday, 07 April 2016 15:01
Antidepressants withdrawal can be so difficult it makes you want to go on antidepressants.   This is week five for me with no antidepressants at all, having spent the previous six months reducing the dose bit by tiny bit, step by tiny baby step. I started taking a light dose to help me stop smoking five years ago. It worked very well. Then I got hepatitis C which was depressing. Then I got a spinal hernia which was depressing and painful. Then Nic, my husband, was diagnosed with ALS and that was as depressing as all out. But then I…

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